Looking back over the 50-year journey Linda and I are on reminded me of the journey of the prodigal son stories. This one is Buddhist: A king discovered that his eldest son was going to abandon being a prince and go live in the world. To help his son, the king had a priceless jewel sewn into his cloak. The …
A stick of dynamite in a campfire
December 25, 2017 As Roy’s recent thoughts had pointed out, holidays are volatile. Today’s an example of that. It’s been one incident after another, guys beating out windows, popping out sprinklers, flooding, setting fires, and just a few minutes ago, an all available officers to the population barracks. To expand on what Roy had said, we live in a house …
Why am I in administrative segregation
September 28, 2017 At present I choose to be – let me explain. For the first 9 years of my incarceration I was locked up and locked down several times. Dirty urine tests, attempted escape, drugs, cigarettes and every assault on staff a few times. I did not adjust well to prison life. At that time I was at Cummins …
Why Chris turned to violence
January 25, 2018 Chris had a reputation, (by name – Twisted), that he could not let go. He felt if he did he would be letting those down that looked up to him. Basically those in the gang affiliations.
Sensing Mindfulness
June 2017 Sensations (How Love Wins) page 69 – List all the sensations you experienced each day when you practiced sensing mindfulness. Also, note if experiencing those sensations decreased your negative mind-wandering: 6/5/17 Was totally focused on the sensations as I did my arm and chest workout today taking the time with each rep to just feel and notice the …
Director Wendy Kelley’s new rule to limit drug soaked letters
July 7, 2017 Effective August 7, 2017, envelopes will no longer be provided to inmates. Please ensure that you write your return address on the correspondence itself; Otherwise the inmate receiving the mail will not have the return address. This is a further attempt to reduce the introduction of drugs into our facilities. It is for the health and safety …
Small acts of kindness
Seeing even small acts of kindness by guys in the blocks and guards and things on the news has been flooding my heart with joy and tears will flow and I get a goofy smile on my face and just feel so grateful, so proud of the ones showing kindness. I hear myself silently thanking the ones showing kindness, thanking …
Kindfulness is in truth a beginning
October 11, 2016 Doug, I hope everyone will someday see as I have that kindfulness is in truth a beginning. It is a beginning to healing, learning, repair and release. I hope by sharing the truth about kindfulness it’s branches can reach to all practicing Buddhist and will, in fact, begin to repair this world in which we live. We …
We got 1/2” of ice on the inside of our windows
January 25, 2018 I tell Roy hi! Every time I go to showers. He’s bundled up like a Tibetan monk, because it is so cold. My ceiling leaks when it rains, I sleep on the floor under my table with my blanket over it and bundle up in double thermos and knit caps. It got down to 9 degrees regular …
I thought being molested was normal
September 11, 2016 I was molested and touched and fondled so much as a child, I thought it was normal. As a child, my biological father, Carl, gave me my first beer and joint about 7 years old. I didn’t like the taste of the Budweiser, but I liked the weed which put me on the road to addiction. I …
A Prisoner’s Guide Towards Rehabilitation: Transcending Our Past
October 31, 2016 Dear World, Being in solitary confine, for an indefinite SHU term at Pelican Bay, felt like an eternity. The mental picture I will carry with me for the remainder of my life, is like a scar in our bodies, visibly reminding us of a past hurt. Solitary confinement is much alike, the only difference is that the …
Receiving Kindness
June 2017 I can only think of the greatest person I know. My mother who has dealt with serious health issues all of her life. Who is my strength who has chosen to bare the burden of doing this time with me when she could have turned her back long ago. I can’t forget my brother whom when I caught …
I lost it
December 10, 2017 I lost it again, two officers were seriously injured with stab wounds. I was shot at with live ammunition and beaten in the head. Hospitalized then transferred to the supermax. A time to reflect and start over. A strange thing happened. The director of the ADC came to see me, stating if I would be kind to …
My ego was wounded
November 4, 2017 I have let my wandering mind “monkey mind” get the best of me. I felt my practice was rocking along really well, I was learning more & more each day and I felt I was making progress in my practice. Then along came Kinney and I reached out to help him. I felt really good about being …
As for finding a willing participant for How Love Wins
January 25, 2018 I have nothing but gang affiliations of both ethnic groups and drug addicts that are smoking weed, K2 and Ice, constantly. There’s cell phones, alcohol, cigarettes that the smoke chokes the shit out of me. And crazy people that start hollering and screaming for no reason